Acknowledge - The first step we take when we address a child is to acknowledge them and their wants and desires.This is a very crucial step because it allows both the adult and the child the opportunity to be on the same plane of thought with one another.This simply means recognizing that the child always has a unique perspective on things, and the adult being receptive to the child. The child thus feels valued and respected.
Assess - The second step is to assess the child’s actions or desires.The basic criterion that we use to assess the action or desire is the constructive nature and consequence of the request.Situations and circumstances may inhibit the adult from acquiescing with the request of the child.Regardless of the child’s age, an adult has to explain to the child why they are prohibiting their request.This develops in the child a faculty for self-evaluation and problem solving.
Alter - The third step is to alter the behavior, in cases where there is immediate physical danger posed, or to provide alternatives for the child, in situations where the child can not be given the request.Two children fighting over a toy are most often placated by providing one or the other child with an alternative toy to play with, and thus allowing the children to play together harmoniously.In providing alternatives for the child, the child is given a chance to exercise their freedom of choice. More often than not, the discipline process ends here.
Absolve - The fourth step is to forgive the child for any negative repercussions that their actions precipitated.This may range from a child having an accident while being potty-trained, to them writing on the wall, to damage to appliances or furniture, to physical injury to either the adult or another playmate.We always bear in mind, and heart, that a child, and its intentions, is always innocent and pure.
Affirm-The fifth step is to positively reinforce the child after processing the action and repercussions with him. This means fundamentally letting the child know that he is loved and valued, and that his actions do not dictate his character. We sometimes forget this most crucial step, but it is this step that creates positive feelings between the adult and child, and reinforces positive behavior. Failure to forgive the child through a hug, or a pat on the head or shoulders, would lead to a corruption of this pristine nature, and would be a failure on the part of the adult as an educator.